


Blood on the Floor

by iamironman (orphan_account), woa



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Depressed Tony Stark, Depression, Extremis Tony Stark, F/M, Good Loki, Human Experimentation, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Avengers, Self-Harm, Swearing, avenger!loki, good guy Heimdall, homophobic Odin, hurt!Tony, loki trying to be a great boyfriend, tony!wump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:22:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 12,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/iamironman, https://archiveofourown.org/users/woa/pseuds/woa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has a secret.<br/>Something he does to punish/calm/focus himself<br/>Tony cuts, has been forever.<br/>Things went bad, bad memories, horrible things.<br/>Loki finds him in the aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> please read and comment and leave kudos if you want ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter is in 1st person - Loki's POV and I might do that again but they rest are 3rd person POV for right now.

I hadn’t seen Tony in days, no one had. On Monday there had been a horrible mission that lasted all day. 23 hours of negotiations with the captors for the 3 hostages-but no use. When we finally came to an agreement, and went to pick them up they were all dead. One girl, barely 16 had died in Tony’s arms.

Of course Tony was known for pulling creative engineering stints that would last for up to a week or two, but he hadn’t been doing that since the avengers had moved in. Now, he had only locked himself away twice since I moved in a year ago. The first was the week I moved in (“I was nervous”, he admitted to me later), the second 2 days before he kissed me (“I had to figure out what I really wanted”).

so I was worried. It was lunch time, and even though Tony ate at random times, and not very much, he still made time for lunch with me most days. I walked down to his lab, it was locked but I gave JARVIS my override code. JARVIS was unusually quiet, which worried me even more.

I entered to a quiet workshop, unnervingly absent of the usual loud pounding music.

“Tony!? Sweets? Where are you? I brought lunch!” I couldn’t see him anywhere. I walked to his desk and it was surprisingly clean. I looked around, not for Tony this time, just at the room, unusually clean and orderly. DUMMY was missing, along with BUTTERFINGERS and YOU.

“JARVIS? Where is everyone?” JARVIS didn’t respond. “JARVIS? J?” I went over to one of the many computers on Tony's desk, and pressed some buttons, but there was no response, everything in the lab was off.

“TONY” I called out, louder this time. No response. I moved to the back wall, where Dummy and the other robot’s stations were. I slid my hands over the concrete wall to the left of their stations, feeling for the hidden catch. Click.

the floor behind me opened up, revealing a small metal ladder descending down. I went climbed down, to where the hard drives were located, the wires tangling around my feet. I stopped when I heard a quiet sound, like someone was crying. I moved towards the sound, working my way deeper into the labyrinth that was the brain of the house. I turned a corner and stopped in surprise. Right in front of me, huddled on the floor, was Tony. Blood covered the floor and tech around him. I noticed then that the blood was coming from him, his arms, chest, stomach, feet, all over his body were cuts, small, large, shallow, and deep.

I must have made a sound, for he turned his head up to mine.

“Loki.” He breathed out, his voice raw, and eyes and cheeks red from tears.

“Tony?” I gasped “What happened?” I tried to sound in control, but I know my voice shook. Then my eyes widened, as I noticed what was littering the floor; razor blades and stainless steel scissors.

I felt nauseous, Tony had done this? To himself?

“Get out.” Tony spat at me, and I looked at his face again. His eyes blazed with anger and his lips were drawn into a sneer.

“GET OUT!” But I couldn’t move.

“LOKI GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!” And in a flash I was kneeling down beside Tony, my knees in his blood.

“Tony, Shhhhhhhhhh, you need a doctor.” I wrapped my hands around Tony and lifted him off the ground.

“LOKI! NO! STOP!”

Why? Why? Why? Why was Tony doing this?

“LOKI!!! GET OUT!!”

“Tell me why, Anthony, tell me why, please.” I whispered deep into his ear as I carried him up the ladder and upstairs. I need to find Bruce or Steve or Th- no not Thor.

Tony was crying now mumbling “nonononononostupidstupidstupid” All blended together so I could barely make out his degrading words aimed at himself.

“Hush Tony, you’re alright now, we’ll get Bruc-”

Tony snapped his head up to look at me. “nonononononono you can’t, Bruce, he’ll hulk out!”

Tony whimpered, and buried his head in my shoulder as I kept moving.

And tears fell from my eyes now as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of tony cutting and loki tells the others

Loki sat on the floor on Tony's room.  
Tony was lying unconscious on his bed, attached to an IV, his arms bandaged.  
Bruce was checking his vitals.  
JARVIS was back online, Tony having turned him off when he began 'punishing' himself.  
"JARVIS?" Loki asked as he looked up at the ceiling.  
"Sir?"  
"Is this the first time something like this has happened?"  
Loki already knew the answer, there were scars, in different stages of recovering.  
"No sir, although I am always shut off when sir does this, the evidence is there- I am sorry I did not inform you, but sir ordered my silence"  
Loki figured, after all it was JARVIS' job to look out for Tony, but he also was sworn to obey him at all costs. There was nothing the artificial intelligence could do if Tony had ordered him not to say anything.  
A tear slipped down his cheek, as he thought of the man he was in love with purposely hurting himself.  
Bruce was looked at the crying man and came over to sit beside him.  
"How are you holding up Loki?"  
He asked his voice quiet, and filled not with pity or confusion but with a gentle understanding.  
Loki remembered Bruce telling him of his suicide attempt, and how the Hulk had saved him.  
"I just-"  
Loki's voice cracked and he couldn't continue.  
Of course this wasn't the first time he saw this, he was after all immortal, but it had never affected him before, not nearly like this.  
Knowing that Tony did this, seeing the cuts, seeing him bleeding on the floor, it struck him straight down to his heart.  
"It's going to be okay, we're here for Tony, and we-all of us will help Tony."  
Bruce put an arm around Loki's shoulder, and Loki rested his head on Bruce.  
"We have to tell the others."  
Loki whispered.  
"Yes."  
Bruce nodded.  
Loki lifted his head.  
"I don't want to, I don't know if I can." Loki's voice trembled.  
Bruce nodded in understanding. "Do you want me to?"  
Loki shook his head. "No."  
Bruce nodded. "I'll help you if you want."  
"Please."  
They sat in silence, Loki thinking of how he would tell the others.  
"JARVIS?"  
"Yes sir?"  
"Where are the others?"  
A beat.  
"The Captain is in the communal kitchen with Thor. Agents Romanov and Barton are in the gym."  
"Could you tell them that I need to talk to them? In the living room, please."  
"Yes sir." The ever faithful voice in the ceiling responded.  
Bruce nodded, and helped him up.  
"JARVIS please tell us if Tony wakes up, or his vitals drop."  
Bruce requested as he and Loki moved to the door.  
"Of course Dr. Banner."  
-  
-  
-  
-  
All of the avengers were seated in front of the TV; Clint and Natasha on the loveseat, Thor on the floor surrounded by pillows, Bruce sat on the opposite end of Steve on the couch, Loki stood in front of them, back to the TV.  
"What's up Loki?" Clint asked  
"It's Tony." Loki was glad his voice was calm and didn't waver.  
"What about Tony?" Natasha asked her lips slightly turning down.  
"He's asleep right now, but I- I found him down in his lab. He was- He had cut himself. On purpose, self-inflicted, he was bleeding on the floor, he- he has been harming himself for a while JARVIS said." Loki lifted his eyes.  
Thor face had crumbled.  
Steve looked confused and frustrated.  
Natasha and Clint's faces were blank.  
"Why didn't JARVIS tell us?" Clint asked his voice rough.  
"Tony turns him off every time." Bruce said.  
Everyone turned to look at the doctor.  
"Loki called me, I patched Tony up."  
Steve nodded in understanding. "How bad?"  
"He needed stitches, 8 of them on his arms, 5 on his thighs, 3 on his calves, and 3 on his abdomen."  
Steve paled.  
"ебать" Natasha cursed.  
-  
-

2 hours later  
\--------------------  
They sat at the table, leftovers spread out, no one wanted to cook, and take-out didn't feel right without Tony.  
They had discussed and decided how to continue on from here; how to help Tony.  
-  
"Loki, sir?"  
Loki looked up  
"Yes JARVIS?"  
"Sir is waking up."  
He nodded "I'm coming"  
He stood and all eyes were on him.  
"Let me talk first, then when he's calmer we can tell him the plan."  
They nodded and watched a Loki walked to the elevator.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony talk about why Tony cut himself.

Tony's head hurt, it felt like Thor had gone a round with his godly hammer on his head.  
"Ahhhhgrr" Tony groaned.  
"J'?" he asked, keeping his eyes closed.  
"Sir." JARVIS replied.  
"Where am I? What happened?" Tony finally opened his eyes.  
"You are in your bedroom sir. You had shut me down sir, Mr. Laufeyson found you on the floor." JARVIS's tone was light.  
"What? Why were you--- Oh shit oh fuckin shit. Shit shit shit!" Tony looked down at his body. His arms, stomach, and legs were bandaged- covered in white.  
"No no no no no. J'? Where is Loki?" Tony's voice cracked on Loki’s name. His breathing was shallow and he was pretty sure he was hyperventilating.  
"Mr. Laufeyson is on his way, he is exiting the elevator now sir."  
Tony's eyes widened.  
"J' lock the door. Lock the door, he can't- he can't see me like this- shit."  
"I'm sorry sir, but I cannot permit that."  
"LOCK THE DOOR JARVIS!"

"Anthony."  
Tony's head whipped from the ceiling to the door. "Loki."  
"JARVIS you can lock the door now, Anthony and I need to chat."  
"Of course"  
Loki looked at Tony, and his heart broke some more. Tony looked so afraid, of him.  
"Anthony?" Loki voiced after the audible click of the lock.  
Tony didn't turn to look at Loki.  
"Anthony, please look at me we need to talk." Tony looked Loki straight in the eye. The look of terror gone replaced with a sneer and hard cool eyes.  
"No we don't." Tony said his voice like iron.  
Loki sighed and bit his lip. “Yes Anthony we do, do you not remember I was the one who found you." Loki said his voice soft but with determination in it.  
Tony's mask of anger fell. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry Lo'. I'm sorry"  
Tony looked down at his arms and tried his best not to scratch at the bandages. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
"Anthony, please look at me, and please tell me why. Why Anthony?" Loki's voice was a whisper.  
Tony tugged at Loki's arm, pulling him down onto the bed beside him.  
"Lo'-Loki, I'm sorry. I- I- the girl, Loki I could have saved her, if I had been faster, I could have SAVED her."  
Tears welled up in Tony's eyes, and he buried his face in Loki's neck.  
Loki didn't move, except to wrap his arm around Tony and pull him close.  
"No Anthony, no- she was already gone. Doom made sure, you couldn't have saved her."  
Anthony shook his head against Loki's chest.  
"Anthony, you couldn't have saved her. So why- why did you do this to yourself?"  
A sob broke out from Tony.  
"Because"  
Another sob.  
"Shhh Anthony, because why?"  
Loki was being gentle and patient.  
"My Da-Howard, it was - oh god- Howard- Stark men have to be strong - no emotions- don't cry Tony! DON'T CRY!"  
Tony was hyperventilating again.  
He kept mumbling "Don't cry, don't cry, so weak, weak, weak."  
Loki's eyes widened more, his mouth hanging open slightly.  
"Oh Anthony. No. No. Anthony."  
Loki bent down his head, pulling Tony 's head towards his own, capturing Tony's lips and silencing his mumbling.  
Loki pulled back and brought the smaller man's face to his chest. "Shhh."  
"I just- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry Lo'- Loki."  
Tony mumbled again softly before falling asleep, with tears streaking his cheeks.  
"Oh Anthony, I love you."  
Loki whispered into Tony's hair.  
-  
-  
-  
\--  
\--  
-  
-  
-  
After Tony was asleep, Loki slowly peeled him off, stood, and tucked him in.  
"JARVIS, keep him safe, let me know if he wakes or if anything-happens."  
"Yes sir." JARVIS replied softly.  
Loki nodded and walked out of the room, after JARVIS unlocked the door.  
Tears fell down his cheeks as he rode the elevator up to the communal floor.  
When the door opened Loki wiped off the tears and headed straight to the kitchen.  
Steve saw him first.  
"How is he?"  
"Sleeping now."  
Steve nodded and the others mimicked him.  
"He-told me why. Why he did it."  
Bruce looked Loki straight in the eye. "Why?" He asked softly.  
"He said it was because he couldn't save her, the girl, Anna. He said that Howard had always said that Stark men were strong, that they had to be."  
Steve looked stricken, he of course had already learned about the man Howard Stark had become while he was in the ice.  
Everyone was silent.  
Clint broke that silence with a curse. "God damn it if that bastard was still alive I would kill him!"  
"IN DEED!" Rumbled Thor in agreement.  
"Well he's dead so that won't do. Besides, we need to focus on helping Tony." Natasha murmured. "We need to make sure he heals. And we should keep him with at least one of us at all times. We need to be gentle and not push him. We need to be there for him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading hoped you liked it kudos appreciated.
> 
>  
> 
> okay so next up is Tony and the rest of the team and coming up with a recovery plan.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team knows Tony's secret. and they have a plan. will tony accept it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i'm sorry i'm addictited to hurt tony so sorry
> 
> also I'm think that Tony doesn't just self harm, other disorders may come up. 
> 
> also I have the word F****t word sorry

The room was dark and when he rolled over and looked out the wall of windows. He saw the moon was high in the sky that was clear but without stars .

_‘There are never stars in the city’_

Tony thought as he shook himself awake.

It took him a few moments to remember everything. Then all of his emotions hit him like a freight train.

“No no no no no no no no no shit! Fuck no no oh god no shit! They know, Loki knows.” Tony swore out loud.

_‘Loki knows! Stupid stupid, shit, you’re pathetic Tony, you piece of shit! You couldn’t even hide this, now look what you’ve done. God Damn it!’_

Tony whimpered to himself as evil thoughts penetrated his mind.

“Don’t you DARE cry, don’t cry. Stark men are strong. No emotion, no emotion.”

Tony was mumbling to himself rocking back and forth his hands clenched into fists.

But no tears stained his cheeks.

“Sir?”

JARVIS’ voice was gentle and quiet.

“He-hey J’....... what’s the time?”

Tony flinched when he stuttered.

 _‘Stark men are strong’_ He thought.

“3:07 am sir. You’ve been asleep for 9 hours and 29 minutes. I’ve called Mr. Laufeyson to let him know you’re awake. He’ll be here shortly.”

Tony’s eyes widened.

“J! WHY! No J’ tell him I’m fine okay, just don’t --- I-- I can’t let him see me like...” He looked down at his bandaged body. “Like this......”

Tony trailed off, his mind wandering to darker thoughts. He was beginning to hyperventilate, and could feel the edge of a panic attack on the frays of his mind.

“Sir. Calm down, breathe sir, Mr. Laufeyson is exiting the elevator now.”

_‘Shit shit shit shit. No emotion Tony, no emotion.’_

Loki opened the door as quietly as possible.

“Anthony?”

Tony was too busy trying to breathe to answer.

 _‘When did my throat get so tight?’_ Tony thought.

“Anthony? Sweets?”

Loki asked as he walked into the dark room. He stumbled on a forgotten shirt which lay on the floor.

JARVIS quickly turned the lights on, careful of Tony’s and his eyes.

“Thank you JARVIS” Loki said.

....

There was silence but at least Loki could see Tony now. He quickly made his way to Tony’s bed.

“Anthony. Please look at me, sweets.” Loki begged.

Tony tensed as Loki’s hand came to rest on his own.

_‘Strong, no emotion. GOD STARK YOU HURT HIM! You hurt Loki. You’re worthless!’_

Tony couldn’t control the voice in his head.

“Anthony?” Loki’s voice was so close to breaking.

Tony turned to face him, he couldn’t- wouldn’t hurt Loki.

_'Why? Why did I hurt him? -Because you weren’t good at hiding this, our secret-.'_

Tony tried to recoil away when he saw the raw emotion on Loki’s face but Loki wrapped his arm around him and pulled him closer until he was sitting on Loki’s lap.

Tony was still, he was frozen. _‘Why was Loki pulling him closer? He’s disgusting. Why would he put him on his lap? He was so fat.’_

“Oh Anthony.” Loki sighed burying his face in Tony’s shoulder. Loki moved his head rubbing his nose on Tony’s neck right below his right ear.

“Anthony, sweets, talk to me, talk to me, please” He breathed into the shell of Tony’s ear making him squirm.

“I--I don’t know what to say.” Tony whispered inclining his head to look Loki in the eyes.

Loki’s eyes pierced his and locked him there, Tony couldn’t look away.

“Why Anthony? Please just let me know.”

_‘No no no, -You’re hurting him again!-’_

“I- I’m sorry Lo’ so sorry I just... She died Lo’... in my arms, and I should have saved her. I’m sorry.”

Loki released Tony’s gaze, nuzzling his neck, placing light kisses on it.

“Anthony, you need to talk with the others, not just Bruce and I.” Loki whispered in between feather- light kisses.

Tony tensed again, having relaxed into Loki.

“They know?” He asked, his voice hushed in fear.

_‘No no no no no. They can’t know, Steve, Thor, Clint, oh god Tasha, no no no.’_

Loki tilted Tony’s head up and said

“Yes Bruce and I told them. We came up with a plan. We’re going to help you, Anthony.”

Tony started. He reeled back breaking out of Loki’s hold.

“YOU TOLD THEM!?” Tony was yelling. Anger and panic filling his voice. He glared at Loki.

“WHY, WHY DID YOU TELL THEM!? YOU HAD NO RIGHT! THEY DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW! NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW!”

Suddenly something inside him broke and the tears rushed out.

“No one was supposed to know, no one.”

_‘pathetic!’_

Loki was terrified. This was Tony- his Anthony.

“Sweets, please calm down, I need you to calm down.”

Tony slumped down unto his bedroom floor, weeping for his lost secret.

Loki rushed forward and engulfed him into a tight hug.

“Shhh Shhh hush sweets it’ll be alright, I’m here. Shhhhhhhhhh.”

“Mr. Laufeyson?”

Loki looked up.

“Yes JARVIS?”

“Sir’s yelling has alerted the others. I told them it was fine you were here. But they wanted to know if they could help. They’re very distressed.”

Tony shuddered in his arms.

“JARVIS please tell them to come up. I think we should all talk about Anthony's recovery plan. Together.”

\--------------------------

It didn’t take the others long to file into the living room of Tony’s floor. They were greeted by Loki who held Tony tightly to his chest.

“Please sit down. Tony? The others are here.”

They took seats around the two as Tony sniffed and tried to dry his face without them seeing. When he was done Tony pulled out of Loki’s embrace and moved a small amount away from him on the loveseat.

“Hey guys, sorry for waking you.” Tony attempted a smile and a light happy tone, but they saw right through it.

“Tony. How are you feeling? Any pain?” Bruce asked covering a yawn with the back of his hand.

Tony waited to answer, staring intently at Bruce’s face.

“I’m good. Fine in fact. Sorry for waking you.” Another attempted smile.

“Bullshit Tony.” Clint said softly.

Tony turned to him, his eyes widening.

“I’m sorry.” Tony’s voice came out just above a whisper. He stared straight at Clint.

“Tony, come on man, seriously, drop the mask please. How are you doing?” Clint looked at the genius, really looked.

‘ _how am I feeling?’_ Tony asked himself. _‘Pathetic’_

The brunette ducked his head and muttered.

“Pathetic, useless, cowardly, shitty, fat, nasty, and horrible----------”

He could have gone on, the words were tumbling out of his mouth. But both Steve and Clint had stood. Bruce looked green and there was a nasty storm above their heads. Loki had torn him back into his arms as if he would never let Tony go. Natasha was the only one who hadn’t done anything, she was trained not to show her own feelings.

Tony was jealous of her.

“Man of Iron, I do not understand. You are none of these things. You are a brave warrior, and a true friend.” Thor’s voice was quiet like nothing Tony had heard him use ever before.

“Tony. We’re going to help okay...” Steve said kneeling down in front of the distressed man. “Okay?”

Tony nodded.

 _‘I don’t need your pity Rogers, leave me alone, I’m not worth it.’_ Tony thought, but he knew he couldn’t say that, they had him surrounded, and they all knew. They all knew.

Steve reached out towards Tony, and Tony flinched back, trying to pull away from Steve and Loki.

“Okay.” Tony sighed but then, once he was out of Loki’s arms he asked his tone only slightly sarcastic.

“And what’s your ‘plan’?”

Steve sat back on his haunches and ran a hand over his face tiredly.

“We’re going to talk to you, do whatever it takes.” Tony shifts his eyes over all of them.

_‘Shit, crap.’_

“Okay, but can we start tomorrow, I'm tired.” When no one moved Tony let out a weak, “Please.” Tony needed them to leave. He was going to break again. Well more, he was already broken.

Steve nodded and motioned for everyone to follow him out.

Loki stayed though, still sitting on the opposite end of the loveseat.

“Do you want me to leave as well?”

Loki whispered. His voice was pained.

_‘stupid faggot you hurt him again!’_

Tony winced at the voice but couldn’t stop himself from saying

“I need to be alone.”

“Anthony, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

_‘He doesn’t trust you! Shut up! Shut up!’_

“Shut up!”

Tony gasped, he had said that out loud.

“Why!?” Tony sneered unable to stop himself.

“So I don’t cut myself into ribbons like I deserve?!”

Tony knew he was yelling and knew it was hurting Loki.

“Anthony” Loki was moving towards him. And Tony backed away like a scared animal.

“NO get out! Get out get out GET OUT!”

Loki looked stricken. But he left just the same.

As soon as the elevator doors shut Tony let himself fall.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony crashed down onto the carpeted floor. His fingers pulling at his hair, his lip was bleeding from his teeth biting down to hold back the screams that wanted to rip their way out of his lungs. _‘Stupid, stupid fucking faggot. You’re weak, pathetic, such a little pig.’_ Tears ran down his face. Tony slammed his hands down on the floor as the voice in his head shrieked at him. “I know, I know, I know” Tony mumbled in response. Again and again and again his fists slammed into the floor as he mumbled dark things to himself. Slowly he slipped into unconsciousness listening to the sad lullaby in his head.

He awoke screaming, and when he realized it was all a dream he broke into sobs. Yet it wasn't really a dream, but a memory. He was in a dark room in the basement which was below Howard’s lab. He was being punished, he had been bad, had been playing in Howard’s lab...he had only wanted to build something for Howard-to make him proud, he couldn’t even do that right.

“J’?”  
“Sir?”  
“What time is it, and where is everyone?”  
“It is precisely Quarter past 8 o’clock Sir, and all the avengers are in the kitchen on the common floor.”  
Tony’s head fell into his hands.  
“Everyone?” Tony asked thinking only of Loki.  
“Yes, Sir. Shall I tell them you’re coming to join them? Breakfast is nearly ready.”  
Tony waited thinking it over.  
“Yeah J’, tell ‘em I’ll be right down.”  
Slowly Tony got out of bed, and feeling light headed stumbled into the adjoined restroom.

 _‘You look like shit’_ the voice told him and he wholeheartedly agreed. He was pale and there were horrible dark bags under his eyes. While his eyes were distracted by his ghastly face Tony’s hand went to scratch at his cuts drawing his attention to them when his hands hit the bandages first.

\--------------

Tony padded lightly from the elevator to the kitchen. He paused at the end of the hallway. Natasha was the first to look up at him and she offered him a small, tentative smile. Loki looked up next and his smile was wider, but Tony saw the overwhelming sadness in his eyes.

“Anthony, good morning.”  
“Morning. So um... I, um-I’m sorry-- for last night. I- we never really got to talk about the um... the plan. So I’m sorry.”  
Thor stood up and bellowed.  
“No need to apologize friend Stark. Come sit with us and break the fast.”  
Tony offered a hesitant smile and pulled out the chair next to Loki.  
“Pancakes, my favorite.”  
Tony stared at his plate and picked up his fork.  
He was well aware of everyone’s eyes following his hand as he cut a piece of pancake and brought it to his mouth. Tony saw all their worried glances and pointed stares at each other.

"Well?" Tony asked, feeling a tiny bit better with his favorite food in him. "What's the plan?"

The team explained, each of them giving certain rules. Rules that Tony was expected to follow. Steve made team meals mandatory. Bruce said he wasn’t allowed in the lab without anyone, which was the worst rule in Tony's mind. He did his best work alone. He'd have to find some wiggle room there. Natasha and Clint demanded mandatory sparring sessions, "To blow off steam" they said. Thor said he wished only for Tony to smile every now and then. Loki just held his hand, offering nothing, but taking nothing.

The rules weren't that bad, but he always had a black feeling in the back of his stomach when he followed one, whether forced or on his own free will. The only thing that competed with it was the look that Loki often had in his eyes. A look of overwhelming sadness. Loki seemed to be giving him extra affection, but he was treating Tony with delicacy that had Tony nearly seething with anger, misplaced anger, because this was in no way Loki’s fault. It was Tony’s, Tony had done this to him. It was Tony’s fault that Loki was so delicate with him, kissing him and only whispering sweet words into his ears. Not that Tony could hear the reassuring words. His head was full of those terrible awful words of self-hate. Calling him fat, worthless, pathetic, weak.

Calling him nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers get called to assemble, but Tony's still benched. Something goes wrong. Panic.

Everyone was sitting in the rec room watching 'Fight Club' when the Avengers alarm went off. They all jumped up and ‘Fight Club’ automatically paused. Tony was the only one who hadn't begun to move. Steve paused and looked at Loki and Tony. “Tony.....” Steve trailed off. Tony offered him a grim, pained smile. “Yea, yea I know. Go kick some ass, I’ll be fine.” This was the 3rd time Tony had stayed in the tower while the others went out to defend the world, he was benched until his weight went up to normal. He had reverted back to some of his disordered eating tendencies when they took away his blades, but they caught on 4 weeks later when he fainted. Loki bent down and kissed the top of Tony’s head. Tony smiled up at his love. “Be safe” He whispered.

Tony stayed seated staring blankly at the television for a couple minutes after they had left. Sighing deeply Tony stood up and made his way to the elevator. “Drafting room J'.” He couldn't go to the shop so this was the next best thing.

“Yes sir.” The elevator went down. Seconds later the doors opened and Tony turned left. JARVIS turned the lights on dimly as Tony padded towards a cluttered table. He quickly shuffled through the disorganized mess of unfinished reports and projects. Tony’s hands went up and yanked at his hair. None of these would keep his mind from the avengers, especially Loki. Tony pounded the table and with a deep breath took a dozen or so pages and walked over to the glass windows on the other side of the room and sat down gracelessly on the floor. “Lights J’.”

57 minutes later and Tony had finished reviewing and rewriting the papers and he would show Pepper tomorrow for Saturday brunch which was now a thing, and it was mandatory for Tony like every ‘team meal’. Standing up Tony stretched. His back and neck cracked and when his shirt pulled up you could see his ribs poking out and healing scars that zig-zagged across his abdomen. JARVIS’ low voice spoke “Video call from an unknown person, originating from Stark Industries sir, I recommend answering it immediately”. Tony’s eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. He stretched once more and padded back to the desk, sat down in the chair and faced the wall. “Bring it up here J’” Tony said nodding towards the black wall. “Of course sir, in 3-2-1.” Tony blinked and when he opened his eyes he came face-to-face (in a way) with a middle aged man, slightly bald, fit, and muscular. “Mr. Stark.” Tony raised an eyebrow “Yes, hello, mind telling me how you got access to my company? And why you must hide yourself?” The man chuckled. “Oh I wouldn’t be too concerned with your security right now if I were you, I would be more worried about your dear friends.” Tony stood up right as the video cut to a bright white hospital room. There were six beds and each had an avenger unconscious in them. “How-- Who are you and what the fuck do you want!” Tony bellowed. “Oh, Anthony, I want you of course. I want you.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The avengers are captured, sans Tony. What will Tony do to ensure there safety? How far will he go to rescue them? And what about his inner demons?

“Oh Tony, poor harmless Tony.” The man chuckled. “Of course you have that big shiny suit of yours, but inside of it what are you? A genius? Yes a man who made weapons that killed so many. A billionaire? More of a greedy bastard who never shares. Philanthropist!? Carrying on your dear mother’s work only shows your grief not your compassion for others! Playboy!? Is that meant to be a positive characteristic!? You sleep around. You’re a sleaze and a heart breaker. I've heard that you don’t even remember the girl’s names, not to mention the boys! Without your piece of tin you are nothing, much less a hero!

“Then let them go. If it’s me you want let them go.” Tony stood straight and his voice didn't waver, fortunately. Inside he was thinking ‘please let them go, take me, take me, please, PLEASE! Don’t hurt them.’ The man paused he seemed to be debating. “But how would you guarantee that you would come? I can’t just release them- The Avengers- oh no. You surrender first. I’ve already made sure that this line is secure, we wouldn't want that pesky agency S.H.I.E.L.D. to hear this private conversation. So poor Anthony I’ll give you a location and you’ll come- alone- if you don’t.... well let’s just say that you precious friends will leave my care different than when they came.” The man chuckled and gave  
Tony a toothy grin. Tony flinched slightly at that smile. The grin grew wider as the mystery man noticed. “I need an answer.”

Tony was cold, he was shivering, standing in the middle of an abandoned warehouse. He had parked his car- a 1969 Boss 429 Mustang that he and Loki refurbished. He had left a note and turned on the magic alarm that Loki had embedded. As promised he was alone and hadn't told anyone- not even Pepper. Tony took a deep breath. He was early and extremely anxious. 

Tony startled and almost let out a squeak as a door banged and a dozen masked men stormed in the building and surrounded him. “Mr. Stark.” One asked pointing his gun at Tony. After he wet his lips and cleared his throat Tony offered a hesitant “Yes?”  
‘Oh god oh god I’m going to die. The teams going to die. stupid stupid stupid. Why did I agree? Of course he isn't going to let go of them, their more valuable than I am’  
The masked man nodded. “Mr. Illur is expecting you. If you’ll just relax and come with us peacefully- Mr. Illur would rather you come unharmed. So it would be best for both of us, don’t you think?” Tony nodded quickly “And the Avengers? He is releasing them now?” he asked. “Ah yes. John the laptop.” A short man stepped forward, the others moving out of the way. “Sir” he said as he handed over the black device. The leader- Tony guessed he was- opened it and opened a browser to the news. “--The Avengers have been found by S.H.I.E.L.D ten minutes ago. No comment on where they were and what happened. And the new question is where is Iron Man? Where is Tony Stark?--” The broadcast cut off, but Tony had seen enough; Loki, Thor, Steve, Bruce, Natasha, and Clint were boarding the quinjet led by Fury and flanked by many agents. They seemed drugged but unharmed. Tony nodded. “Okay, where are we going?” The leader looked at him as John stepped back closing and taking the laptop. “It’s a surprise Mr. Stark.” Tony barely had time to raise his eyebrow in confusion before he felt a prick in the back of his neck and the next he knew blackness overtook him and he fell into a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Tony groaned. His head felt like it was splitting open. He knew he should be worried but he couldn’t think beyond the pain in his head, and the overall numbness of the rest of his body. the voice in his head wasn’t helping with the screaming. Tony groaned again and right after he heard footsteps approaching. He cracked his eyes open and winced at the light. “Ah Tony, so good of you to wake up. You’ve been out for 2 days, but don’t worry we can have fun now.” The man from the video was leering over Tony’s horizontal form. “What?” Tony said, his throat was dry and he had to cough before he could continue. But the man beat him to it. “My apologies Tony my friend, my name is Tanner Illur. I’m so sorry for the unorthodox invitation but you are very important to me.” The smile that Illur gave made Tony want to run, but his limbs were too heavy. “Why? Why am I so important?” Tony’s tongue felt dry and heavy as he asked. Illur laughed, throwing his head back and it shook through his entire body. “Ah Tony my friend I knew you were funny. Oh Tony your brain, your marvelous brain. You are one of the smartest people in the world. Oh the things we could do together, oh the experiments I could do on you. Oh yes, yes, yes, we are going to have so much FUN!” Illur lifted a hand and reached out to touch Tony. ‘DANGER! DANGER!’ his entire mind (including the nasty voice) screamed. Tony moved back finally having control over his limbs. He backed away like a scared animal and Illur’s manic grin turned into a snarl of annoyance. “Tony.” He said. The tone of his voice made Tony stop in warning. But he quickly countinued shrinking back until he hit a wall. “Tony.” Illur’s face darkened and his voice was thickly laced with impatience. He finally managed to grab at Tony and pulled him to the edge of the bed by his hair. Without thinking Tony raised his left hand and twisted his hand into a fist and as Illur began to pull him again he raised his hand and punched Illur in the face. The man went down for only a few seconds, then he was back up and slapped Tony in the face. Tony was shocked and before he could react Illur pulled his hair and whispered into Tony’s ear. “Well Anthony if that’s the way it’s going to be you’ll have to learn some manners. Haven’t you ever heard the expression ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’. But ofcourse you never had to worry about hunger ever in your rich pompous life.” Illur yanked Tony’s hair once more before pushing him back. Tony’s head connected with the wall with a crack. With a final look of disgust Illur left slamming the door. Seconds later Tony heard the clicking of a lock and the sound of a deadbolt. 

As soon as Tony heard Illur’s footsteps ascend some stairs and fade away he sprang up and inspected the door. It was seamless on this side. He tapped it several times. Solid. ‘Adamantium’ Tony guessed ‘electrically controlled from the outside.’ Tony nodded to himself. He turned back around to survey the room. It was a normal size, definitely smaller than his own. To the right bordering the wall was the bed; twin size covered with brown and the frame made out of copper. Adjacent to it was a doorway and with a few steps Tony saw a shower and toilet. The only other thing in the room was a small shelf containing books. Tony moved and picked up one with a blue cover and golden words: Advanced Quantum Mechanics. ‘Odd’ Tony thought. He went over to the bed and laying down opened the book and began to read.

 

Tony only realized that he had fallen asleep when he jolted up out of bed by a nightmare. ‘Fuck!.’ He thought his heart racing. “God, Loki” The dream had been about Loki- dying, it was a recurring nightmare ever since Loki had told them of his fall into the abyss and his time with Thanos. In the dream Tony had been trapped in his armor unable to move- to help Loki as he grasped and clawed for him as he slowly was dragged to the edge of the buildings ledge. Tony stayed on his bed laying trying to clear the fear out of his mind. 

3 days; it had been 3 days since Illur left. Tony had given up on escaping, he was too tired. Tony concluded that the door was the only plausible way out. For the majority of the 2nd day he had entertained the thought of moving the toilet and escaping through the drain- he had seen that in a movie once. But he had cut himself and the toilet wouldn't budge, he didn’t have the right tools either. On his left hand was a giant gash running from his wrist to the upper part of his palm. Laying there with no energy, no drive to do anything else Tony rubbed and scratched the wound. 'Stupid fat worthless pig. I bet Steve would have gotten out of this hell hole in less than a day! stupid pathetic.' Tony cringed, ever since Illur had left it was impossible to shut the voice up. Tony's stomach grumbled. No one had visited, no one had left food or water or clothes. Tony was surviving on the water from the sink. He began to rub harder and felt slightly sick with the pleasure of the pain. Truth be told Tony didn't really mind the gash, even if it was getting infected. 'Good, good you deserve the pain, doesn't it help, it's what you deserve.' Tony fell asleep to the horrible words of the voice filling his head.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SO SO SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY!   
> don't blame iamironman - totally my fault(woa)  
> so this chapter is from the Avenger's perspective..... or well what's going on with them....

Tony was up and backed against the far wall. The door opened and 3 men in white protective gear complete with surgical masks stepped into the room. They quickly made their way towards Tony’s huddled figure. Tony kicked as hard as he could as 2 grabbed him by his arms, but it was useless. When he was secured in the two’s iron grips the other produced a large needle and stuck it into Tony’s neck. Tony’s vision blackened around the edges and then enveloped him into darkness. And Tony felt at peace for the first time in a long, long, time.

 

“-----ake up, I’ve alerted SHIEL-----”  
Steve drifted in and out of consciousness before finally waking up to the sound of the Avengers’ Alarm.   
In an instant he was up- reaching out for his shield.   
Someone groaned from behind him and he swung instinctively around and his fist collided with something before he had time to look.  
“JESUS SHIT”  
Clint shouted as he flailed backward clutching his now bloody nose.   
Steve gasped and rushed to steady Clint.   
“Clint I’m sorry I didn’t know it was you”.  
When Clint was steady Steve looked around the room.   
Natasha was on the floor, as well as Thor, Loki, and Bruce.   
“Captain?” JARVIS’ voice called.   
Steve looked expectantly up at the ceiling   
“JARVIS, where is Tony?” Steve’s voice was calm but his hands shook.  
He bent over and reached to check Bruce’s pulse.   
“I do not know Captain. I was shut down 2 hours, 29 minutes, and 14 seconds ago. At that time Sir was in the drafting room----- Dr. Banner is alive, as are Masters Odinson and Agent Romanov, they are merely unconscious-- I have detected a numerous amount of sedatives in all of your blood”   
Clint let out a sigh of relief and nodded.  
He took her head and put it in his lap and began to gently stroke her hair.   
Steve sat back on his heels and rubbed a hand over his face- he was exhausted, but at least he was awake.  
“If Tony was in the drafting room where were we?”   
Steve shook his head, he couldn’t remember.   
“We were on a mission- right?” Clint said before JARVIS could.   
“That is correct Agent Barton, you had left 1 hour and 6 minutes prior to my disconnection.” Steve frowned and opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a loud noise that could only be labeled as a cross between a groan and a growl.   
Steve looked down at Bruce whose eyes were now open wide.   
“Wha--”   
Bruce started before breaking into a coughing fit.  
Steve lifted him up into a sitting position.   
“Easy Bruce, easy.” Steve rubbed circles on Bruce’s back as he continued to cough.   
“Is he okay?”   
Natasha’s voice came from behind Steve and he did not jump- not at all.   
“I’m fine” Bruce wheezed “what’s going on”.   
Natasha moved in front of the two men and took Bruce’s hand in her own.   
“Tony’s missing, we were on a mission, JARVIS was shut off- me and Steve woke up not 5 minutes ago- he punched me and my nose is bleeding.” Clint told them moving to take Bruce’s other hand.  
Steve looked down at his feet guiltily.   
“It was an accident- I didn’t know it was him” Steve told Natasha.   
Natasha nodded her eyes softening.  
Then she tilted her head towards the two slumbering gods.   
“and them?”   
“Masters Odinson are both fine merely unconscious due to extreme doses of sedatives” JARVIS informed the former assassin.   
Then almost as if they knew the others were talking about them Loki quickly shot up followed more slowly by Thor.   
“ANTHONY!!!!!!” Loki screamed his eyes wild for a moment before Thor grabbed his arm.   
“Calm brother.” Loki seemed to deflate and curl into himself.   
“Anthony” he said again this time meekly.   
Thor nodded solemnly.   
“what about Tony? Do you know where his is? What happened??”   
Loki nodded, but shot Natasha a hurt look at her question.   
“That man has him.”   
Everyone’s eyes widen in confusion - except Thor’s.   
“What man? What happened?” Steve asked in his ‘Captain America Voice’.   
Thor stepped in front of his brother- almost as if he was shielding him from the others-   
“Captain, do you not remember the man? The mission?” Thor asked his voice like steel.   
The others shook their heads.   
“Earlier we left the man of iron here at the tower to go fight a new unknown villain. We arrived at the place - a desert land- but alas there was not a thing there- no chaos or villain. The final thing I saw was a strange ship of some sort, then blackness. I woke up- unable to move, most likely cursed by dark magic- there was a man talking to Anthony through the screen of a television. He said he wanted Anthony not us-------”   
Everyone jumped when Thor was cut off by a door banging open.   
Several agents ran in and surrounded the avengers.   
“SOMEBODY BETTER TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!” Nick Fury yelled once he entered the room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is just a filler chapter.  
> and just FYI next chapter and all after that are gonna deal with Captain America 2 (or the events in it will have happened)   
> so you've been warned

_Tony couldn’t believe this was happening._

_It was like Afghanistan all over again._

_He was awake- did they know he was awake._

_They had to know he was awake._

_He was awake and they were cutting him open--- NO NOT THE REACTOR--- no they left it there, thank god or whatever for small miracles._

_Of course there were protocols in place, there had been since Stane but still.... why was he awake; not that he could feel them as they cut apart his skin, his muscles, his bones._

_NO!_

_Tony was in a blissful state, all except his head._

_No pain- no PHYSICAL pain._

_No it wasn’t physically painful, but emotionally he was being cut into metaphorical ribbons as his mind took him back to the cave in Afghanistan_

_\- to the roof with Stane,_

_the Expo with Vanko and to New York with the wormhole_

_\--- no he couldn’t feel any physical pain but his mind as Illur had said was a terrible, beautiful thing._

 

 

Fury stood before the seated Avengers.

They were in the commons room of Stark Tower.

Behind Fury on the TV was a picture of a man- middle aged, slightly bald, fit, and muscular.

Fury cleared his throat.

“His name is Boris Illur age 48 born in Istanbul, Turkey to Regina and Matthew Illur. He was a child prodigy with an IQ of 210 [I’m gonna say that Tony’s is 250, the record high is 250-300] He attended Cambridge University at age 15 majoring in biochemistry, after getting his degrees he attended Harvard and Stanford majoring and completing classes in theoretical bioengineering and quantum mechanics, respectively. Both of his parents died when he was 17 and he is an only child. He had an aunt on his mother’s side, but 4 years ago she was critically injured and now is in a coma. Sources have it that it was in Gulmira in 2008- yes Agent Romanov the same village where Ironman was first seen. Illur has been on our radar since 1985 when he built a portable CBU-52B bomb and set it off in a the basement of the Library in Ahatlı, Turkey. It’s been suspected that he’s working with either the Ten Rings or Hydra, possibly both, but we’re unsure. We have people searching the globe as we speak- finding Illur and Stark are this agencies top priorities I assure you.”

The Avengers were silent but they all nodded to show they understood.

Loki opened his mouth and then closed it before opening it again

“Do we know how or why he has Anthony?”

Loki’s voice shook, as did the rest of him.

Fury scowled “No, but if I had to guess it could be because of Illur’s aunt. Or he could be working with the Ten Rings or Hydra and they want access to the Ironman suits.”

Loki nodded.

Clint spoke up

“Either way it’s not good.” his voice laced with venom and anger.

“No” Fury agreed.

“Which is why we’re doing everything we can.”


	11. Chapter 11

Tony wasn’t a religious man. In fact, he prided himself to be an atheist. Hell he was dating(dating?) a norse deity for christ’s sake!! but here he was praying to god- to anyone- because he couldn’t feel his legs, or his arms, or ANYTHING! not even his head. And he was alone in a new room. The room was different than the one that Illur had locked him in. It was white, and it reminded Tony of the army hospital he was put in after Afghanistan. Tony was lying on a steel slab, naked, with his eyes forced open. And above him was a mirror- he could see his entire body, but he couldn’t feel any of it. He couldn’t move - not even his eyes- he was frozen.   
And he was scared.

“Ah, he’s awake, good.” Tony heard off to his right.   
SNAP!!   
“We can get started now. Kent open his mouth.”  
Tony saw in the mirror above him a set of large gloved hands move from his left towards his mouth.   
“How wide doctor?” A new voice- Kent- asked as the hands unceremoniously parted his lips and pulled his jaw apart.  
“Just wide enough for the tube” the first voice- the doctor- responded  
Tony’s mouth was opened another 2 inches.  
“We need to keep him breathing.... for now” The doctor stated.  
Tony tried to struggle, but he still couldn’t move. In the mirror Tony saw a second pair of gloved hands. The new hands carried a blue plastic tube. The hands brought the tube to his lips.   
“Good, now tilt his head” the doctor instructed.   
And Tony saw-rather that felt- Kent’s hands move his head.  
The doctor proceeded to push the tube down his throat.  
‘NO! stop, I can’t breathe!!!!’ Tony shouted in his head.  
His body didn’t move, not even to instinctively react to the stimulus.  
With a final push the tube was secure and Tony could breathe again.  
“Good, good, good. Now Kent we’ll start with the right leg. Scalpel.”   
The doctor held out his hand expectantly.  
‘no’ Tony mentally pleaded.   
In the mirror Tony saw the doctor cut precisely up his right calf, starting at his ankle. The doctor sliced through his flesh stopping below his knee. Then he cut horizontally below the knee and continued back down the other side of his leg. He finished by connecting the incisions by Tony’s ankle with another horizontal cut. The doctor set the bloody scalpel down by Tony’s foot.  
“Suction Kent, we need to remove this blood” The doctor ordered.   
In the mirror Tony saw Kent’s hands return with a new instrument. Kent inserted the tip under Tony’s pierced skin- and now Tony was thankful that he couldn’t feel anything because he still remembered Afghanistan.   
“That’s good, now get the tray.”   
Tony saw Kent’s hands move away and heard some shuffling off to his left.   
Meanwhile the doctor leaned over Tony’s lower half- and Tony noted that he wore a blue surgical gown that completely covered his body apart from the top of his head. The doctor had curly black hair that was peppered with gray. In the mirror Tony saw Kent’s hands return with a stainless steel tray. The doctor stepped back and Tony mentally blanched when he saw his tibialis muscles and his tibia bone. His flesh was in the doctor’s gloved hands. Said hands moved to carefully lay Tony’s skin onto the tray.   
“Good Kent, put this in the cryo freeze.”   
Kent’s hands and the tray with Tony’s skin moved out of Tony’s vision.   
“And bring the nanoids!” The doctor shouted.


	12. Chapter 12

**Unknown Location**

 

Clint stroked his bow longingly.

He was sitting cross-legged in the corner of the small dark room.

In front of him Bruce sat in a tattered armchair clacking away on an old 1993 Thinkpad notebook.

“Anything from the Captain or Nat?” Clint asked from the corner.

Bruce’s hands stilled.

“No, nothing, not a peep.” Bruce said in a raspy voice.

Bruce leaned back and ran a hand through his unkempt hair.

“What about Thor and Loki? Have you heard anything?” he questioned.

Clint looked down at the alien object by his left foot.

“No it’s been as silent as the dead.” Clint answered kicking the thing lightly.

Bruce took a deep breath. “Well, we’ll find him soon, we have to.” He went back to his typing.

Behind him Clint picked up the medallion and stood up.

“That’s just it. We have to find Tony- we have to. We have to.” Clint mumbled as he walked over to the connected bathroom.

Bruce sighed.

“Come on Tony, just hang on, we’re looking, we’ll find you.” Bruce whispered.

 

**Meanwhile on Asgard.**

 

 

“Brother, please, sit down, calm brother, please sit with me" Thor tried to sooth his brother who was pacing across the thrown room.

“HOW CAN I!? HOW CAN YOU!?”Loki shouted.

“Mother is ill, Father is off world with Sif and the warriors three- on Jotunheim of all places- Anthony is still missing, Fury won’t answer- or Natasha, Steve, Clint, Bruce, ANYONE! and we’re stuck here on ASGARD!”

Thor was shocked; this was the most Loki had spoken since Tony had traded himself for them to that man Illur.

“Brother, you know that Father is on his way back, and he as well as Heimdall will help us find friend Stark.”

Thor clapped his massive hand on Loki’s shoulder in what was meant to be an assuring fashion.

Loki deflated and fell into the chair next to the one Thor had vacated.

“I know, it’s just ---”

He ran his hand through his long hair.

"Clint has the Galator and I haven't heard from him- we have heard from none of Avengers or SHIELD or..... what if Anthony is dead?" Loki ended with a whisper.

Thor sat down next to his adopted brother.

"If the Man of Iron has indeed passed on to the Afterlife I am positive that your daughter would have told you."

Thor put his hand back on Loki's shoulder.

"Please, just sit with me, tiring yourself out will not help your lover."

Loki seemed to deflate and he nodded his head.

"I know, I know.... and since when are you the wise one?" Loki asked, trying for humor.

Thor merely hummed in response.

** Underground HYDRA Facility in Tajikistan **

 

"Ah, Tony how nice of you to join us." a voice came from Tony's right.

He opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times.

"Wha---" Tony started and then looked over towards the voice.

Standing there in a full body protective suit was Illur.

"Doctor, I believe we're ready to begin." Illur called out.

Tony turned his head as far as he could, finding himself heavily restrained by thick leather binds.

He was strapped to a morbid version of a dentist's chair.

The room wasn't much to look at; it was small, not well lit, unfurnished except for the two chairs and a small table. 

CLICK CLACK CLICK CLACK CLICK CLACK CLICK CLACK

The sound of high heels on the concrete floor came from behind Tony.

"Doctor." Illur greeted with a nod.

"Boris" a soft feminine voice replied.

Tony's eyes widened.

_'No, it couldn't be'_ Tony thought

"Hello Mr. Stark" the woman said as she stepped around.

"Maya" Tony gasped. 

She-Maya- nodded.

"It's been awhile, hasn't it?" she said softly

Maya Hansen said with a devilish smirk on her face

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR IRON MAN 3, and maybe Capt. America 2 (but not really- at all)

**Unknown Facility**  

 

"Hello Mr. Stark" the woman said as she stepped around.

"Maya" Tony gasped.  
She-Maya- nodded.  
"It's been awhile, hasn't it?" she said softly  
Maya Hansen looked down at Tony with a devilish smirk on her face  
Maya then walked over to the table and set down the metal briefcase she had carried in with her.  
There were several small beeps as she unlocked the case.  
Tony strained his neck to see Maya pull out a Phlebotomy tray filled with tubes, needles, syringes, bandages, and other medical objects.  
“Mr. Stark do you remember New Years’ eve 1999 in Switzerland?”  
Tony nodded.  
“Do you remember what I was working on?”  
Tony hesitated this time before nodding again.  
“Well, this”-she held up a bottle of blue liquid and began to fill a syringe with it- “is the finished work.”  
The syringe was filled now and Maya set the empty bottle back on the table and picked up a neon green tourniquet. She walked over to Tony and looked at Illur.  
“Well... almost finished; you see Mr. Stark there is one little problem that we haven’t figured out how to correct- almost all of our ‘volunteers’ have um well they've exploded.”  
Illur let out a deep, throaty laugh  
“Ah yes, that small problem, but don’t worry Tony; you’ll survive- you survived Afghanistan, that Vanko fool, space, and even yourself, you’ll be fine.”  
Illur had leaned in and whispered the words into Tony’s ear as Maya flicked the syringe to get the air bubbles out and then handed the tourniquet to Illur who tied it around his trapped arm.  
“Just a pinch Mr. Stark” Maya said and that was the last thing Tony heard before he was engulfed in a burning pain and enveloped into darkness.

 

 

**Washington, D.C., USA**

“Captain, we need to move.” Natasha called from the stairwell.

“Right” Steve said as he jogged over “Have you heard anything from the others”

Natasha paused mid step. “No I haven’t heard anything”

Steve frowned

“It’s been 2 weeks since we split” he said, “you don’t think....”

Steve trailed off, looking at Natasha with a worried expression.

“No, they’re fine. ---- Fury would have told us, or Coulson, at least.”

Her voice was determined and left no room for objection.

“Now come on Captain, they’re waiting for us in the hanger.”

\-----------

 ** **Unknown**** **Location**  
  


“CLINT COME ON!” Bruce yelled over his shoulder as he grabbed the Thinkpad and a bunch of papers.

“I’M COMING!” Clint responded shouting to be heard over the crumbling around them.

Bruce took off in a sprint out of the house and into the surrounding trees.

Clint was 5 steps behind him until he pause to pack up the weapons.

Once Bruce had made it into the trees he turned around and tried to steady his breathing

 _‘it’s alright, we’re safe’_ he thought to The Other Guy.

Bruce’s eyes scanned the collapsing building.

“CLINT!!??” he shouted when he couldn’t find the archer.

Just as Bruce was going to go back for him Clint appeared from the dust cloud surrounding the fallen building.

“We need to move Doc, those drones were SHIELD, now I haven’t heard from Nat or Steve, but something’s definitely not right.”

Bruce nodded.

“Okay 3 miles North is a beach, there’s a boat that we can ‘borrow’ and from there it’s 35 minutes to another village. We can stay there for a night or two.” Bruce pointed in the direction he meant.

“Okay, is that all you picked up??”

Clint asked incredulously looking at the Thinkpad.

Bruce raised an eyebrow.

“Well excuse me for not taking the time to pack a picnic basket while I was under heavy fire.”

Clint grimaced at Bruce’s greening eyes.

“Got it, got it, jeez sarcasm really works for you.”

He said as he began walking North.

“Once we ‘borrow”-Clint attempted to make air quotes but it was hard to do with his hands full-

“this boat I’m gonna check the thingy”

Bruce raised an eyebrow again

“The ‘Thingy’”- he countered using air quotes- “you mean the Galator- the alien magic device? That thingy??”

Clint stuck out his tongue and replied

“yeah that thing, now c’mon”

and they started walking towards the beach.


	14. Chapter 14

Loki and Thor were sitting in the Grand Hall.   
Their father, Sif and the Warriors Three were finally back from Jotunheim finally.   
And Odin and Heimdall were on their way to the Hall.  
Loki was pacing-he had never really stopped....and ever so often he would glare at the Galator, the door, or his brother.  
Said brother was “calmly” eating rödkål while leisurely swinging Mjolnir.  
Suddenly the 30 ft. gold doors of the Grand hall swung open and Odin (Allfather) strode purposefully in, followed forthwith by Heimdall.   
Loki paused mid step and Thor ceased swinging Mjolnir.  
“Father! You Have Returned!!”   
Thor boomed (in the way that only he could).  
“Father.”  
Loki repeated in a much quieter tone.   
Both bowed slightly to their King.  
“My sons....”   
Odin greeted then paused.  
“Loki---- Heimdall has news for you concerning your....... mortal lover.”   
Odin’s tone ended in restrained disgust.   
But Loki bore it no mind as his entire attention focused on the Keeper of the Bifrost.  
“Yes??”   
Loki asked his voice laced with anxious worry.  
.  
Heimdall bowed to the King and then to Thor and Loki.  
“Prince Loki.... these past days I confess to you that the Man of Iron has been hidden from me.”   
He pause briefly.  
“However, not just 3 mortal hours ago a great energy came from Midgard.   
A flash of power that caught my eye and blinded me for a moment... After I had regained my senses I found that it was your Anthony.”   
Heimdall’s voice was gentle and compassionate.  
“I understand that he was taken and I must tell you, my prince, that his captors have done something....   
I must tell you that your lover has been changed- perhaps beyond mending...   
I am so sorry my prince, that I could not find him before.”   
Heimdall looked anguished that he had failed.   
“Anthony Stark is on Midgard -- in an underground stronghold just off the shore of Miami, Florida.”


	15. Chapter 15

“I can’t believe you threw up on me...” Clint muttered at Bruce’s sleeping form as he sailed the small boat.  
“God, and these were my favorite shoes.” He growled, before straightening when he saw the shore ahead.   
“Up and at ‘em Brucie bear” Clint nudged Bruce not so gently with his right foot, effectivly getting the man’s own bile onto his shirt.  
“shojsklsksleisos” came Bruce’s grumbled reply  
“Sweetheart! Darling! My dear! My itty bitty pistachio! My----” Clint sang.  
“arrrrhgsojojlds shud uph Clint.” Bruce rumbled not moving out of the fetal position.  
“Seriously.” Clint said in a normal voice  
“Wake the hell up, we’re here.”  
Bruce groaned and moaned and grunted- but he stretched out and stood up; only swaying a bit.  
“Here???” Bruce rasped, rubbing the back of his head.  
“Aye matey! Land, me hearty, sand and trees and all ye landlubber needs!” Clint declared with an exaggerated accent.  
Bruce threw a glare.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------  
Minutes later Clint had docked the vessel, lowered the sails, and raised the centerboard and rudder. He then grabbed the small ‘Go bag’ he packed and the Galator before joining Bruce.  
“You said the town’s close, right?” Clint asked as he tied the device around his neck.  
Bruce nodded and pointed East.  
“2 or 3 miles that way, I think.”  
Clint raised an eyebrow.  
“You think? Bruce now’s the time to be sure.”   
Bruce pursed his lips and hugged the computer bag closer to him.  
“2 or 3 miles East” he repeated.  
Clint shrugged.  
“Okay then, lead the way” Clint gestured in front of them.  
And the two set off.  
“I’m going to have to change soon.” Clint grumbled.  
\---------------------------------------------

 

Tony woke up slowly and all at once.  
He was too hot.  
He could feel it on his skin, in his veins, pulsing throughout his muscles and resonating in his bones.  
The sounds.  
Oh the sounds.  
Beeps.  
Clanging.  
Banging.  
Dings.  
Dongs.  
Bleeping.  
Buzzing.  
It filled his head.  
His eyes spasmed behind his eyelids.   
Gasping Tony shot up into a sitting position, barely noticing that he had broken the restraints around his wrists.  
He turned his head.   
Left then right.  
Again and again.  
His breathing was uneven and raspy.  
His eyes were unfocused and his pupils dilated.  
All around him strings of code zipped and whizzed about.  
Voices clammered around in his head.  
> well hello there don>  
> hell i don’t even know>  
>and conflicts in the middle east-->  
> then add 2 cups sugar to the mix>  
> no ralph! i don’t love you anymore>  
>forgive me father for i have sinned>  
so many voices.  
Tony grabbed his head and pulled his hair and let out a primal scream.   
\------------------------------------------------------------------------

“The world’s changed Captain” Nick Fury’s voice was grave.  
“It always does Director”  
“You didn’t kill him”   
“He’s my friend”  
“He’s a killer”  
“So am I, so are you, so is Nat”  
“you really think Barnes is still there”  
“yes”  
“It’s been over 70 years Captain”  
“He saved me. Again. Bucky always saves me.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------

Loki landed in the middle of the ocean and without hesitation he called upon his magic to protect himself from the water.   
Then once he was wrapped in a small bubble of air and magic Loki used the bond he had with Anthony to see if his love was close.  
(not that it had worked before- but now that Heindmell could see Anthony why couldn’t Loki be able to?) and YES!!! there Anthony was!   
Loki could sense him.   
Quickly and gracefully he turned toward where Anthony was.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP  
-  
“Bruce...jsloisjlsjidlj” Clint grumbled from where he slept.  
“Banner! Wake the Fuck up” Clint groaned, turning over and hiding his head under his pillow.  
“siojfkslkjdlkshfio. wha-- ‘m up” Bruce yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  
“What?” He asked Clint yawning again.  
“Beeping” Clint groaned into his pillow  
“Wha?” Bruce asked as he stretched.  
“Your computer is beeping” Clint grumbled as he turned over again trying to go back to sleep.  
“WHAT!?” Bruce shot up and ran to the computer on the other side of the room, and in doing so he stepped on Clint.  
“OW!” Clint yelled then muttered “asshole” before pulling the blanket over his head.  
Bruce paid him no mind as he clacked and clicked away at the keyboard.  
Bruce’s eyes widened and his fingers stilled. His mouth dropped open for a second before it formed into a manic grin.  
“YES! YES! YES!” Bruce yelled gleefully.  
“Clint get up! Get up! Get up! Find the Galator! We need to call Thor and Loki and Natasha! and Steve!!! hurry hurry hurry!”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Natasha stood at the foot of Sam’s hospital bed.   
Her face was carefully blank as she looked at the unconscious man who had saved her life without knowing her.  
Sam was the second man to do that..... the first being Clint.   
But that was years ago... and she was a different person that she is now.   
So she didn’t know what to do with Sam.  
Especially with all that’s been going on.  
She hadn’t see Clint in months.   
She hadn’t even heard from him.   
She was worried.   
Which was a new thing for her.   
The Avengers had just started to become a team- a family.   
And then the chaos of Tony had happened and she hadn’t known what to do.   
And that more than anything scared her because she was used to fighting corrupt men(and women) who acted violently and selfishly and who hurt others.   
Not what Tony did.   
She had been wrong so very wrong in her assessment of him.  
She had been trained to read people and she had gotten Tony Stark all wrong.   
Sam stirred and that was enough to distract Natasha from her thoughts.   
She quickly wiped the stray tear off her cheek and moved closer to the bed.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	16. Chapter 16

Tony stood in the middle of the room.

The chair he had been strapped to was gone.

Maybe they moved him and this was a new room.

They all looked the same.

Strings of code played in the corners of his eyes, over what was in front of him, but he was able to manipulate them now.

Tony remembered Maya.

That bitch had injected him with the Extremis virus. 

Something he had -unknowingly- helped create one drunken night in 1999.

Extremis was a wild stab at recreating the super soilder serum.

It rewrote the body.

Or that's what it was created to do, the project had been scrapped. 

But what Tony remembered was that the virus gave superhuman strength and speed, as well as something to do with fire.

Tony tried to think of what it was, when right before his eyes the files opened up.

Fire-breathing.

But the dose Maya gave him was different- modified.

And the nanites!

Tony understood what was going on...

Extremis made it so he was able to remotely connect to external communications systems such as satellites, cellular phones, and computers throughout the world.

Essentially his brain acted more like a computer.

Which explained the code, and the different frequencies he had picked up before. 

Tony breathed in, trying to calm himself down.

He did a sweep of the building- hacking their security systems. 

There.

He found Maya and Illur.

Show time. 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Loki forced his way into the underground facility.

He needed to find his Anthony, now.

Loki sprinted forward, popping his head into different rooms, searching for Anthony.

His magic- his bond told him his lover was here, but it couldn't get an exact fix on him, as if Anthony was in every room.

**"STARK, STAND DOWN!"**

Loki stopped as he heard someone yell Anthony's last name.

Immediately, without thinking Loki raced to find the source.

* * *

 

Maya Hansen and Boris Illur were quietly celebrating.

Anthony Stark had responded wonderfully to the Extremis treatment.

Boris was smoking a cigar below one of the air vents that led out and both he and Maya had glasses of champagne.

"Just imagine it Boris, Tony Stark- Iron Man, completely under our control."

Maya laughed.

"Along with all of Stark Industries."

Boris added.

"Yes, oh it's marvelous."

Maya took a sip and Boris puffed out a large amount of smoke.

"Oh, I don't think 'marvelous' is the word, Maya."

Maya choked a bit on her drink and Boris gasped loudly.

Tony stood leaning against the doorframe.

Once Maya turned around she gasped in shock.

Tony looked..... different.

His eyes were electric blue, shining bright.

His skin was pale- almost translucent, and his veins pulsed vibrantly under the skin.

"Stark."

Boris composed himself.

"You should be under examination still."

Tony bristled, Boris sounded too much like a parent scolding a child.

"I think that's for me to decide, don't you?"

He took a step into the room.

Maya stood. 

"Stark, stand down."

Tony smirked and took another step.

"I order you to stand down."

"I was never good at taking orders, Maya, why should now be any different."

Tony stepped so he was right in front of Maya.

"Stand down."

Maya tried again.

"Hmmm, no"

Tony's hands snapped forward and grabbed Maya's wrist.

She squealed as tiny currents of electricity pulsed from Tony's hands up her arms.

**"STARK, STAND DOWN!"**

Tony looked over at Boris.

"Why should I?"

"Override code: 93Tetris4D"

Boris commanded and Tony froze, eyes blanking over.

* * *

 

Loki rounded the corner just in time to hear that man, Boris say

"Override code:93Tetris4D"

And he stood in the doorframe, eyes locked on his lover.

Neither Maya or Boris could see him, his magic shrouded him in invisibility.

He stood, waiting to see what was happening.

Boris stepped forward and pulled Anthony's hands from Maya's wrists.

Anthony didn't react.

"Did he hurt you?"

Loki didn't listen to Maya's answer instead he tried to see what Anthony was thinking. 

But, Loki couldn't get in- couldn't connect to his love.

But something must have happened because Anthony snapped to attention, eyes clearing back to the electric blue.

And he turned to where Loki was standing.

Tony tilted his head, adjusting his vision to heat vision, and he saw a Loki shaped void.

He did run extremely cold.

Tony smiled, brightly and truly.

Then he turned back to his two captors and tormentors.

"I'm afraid your pathetic overrides are ineffective."

Tony grinned manically.

Loki became visible and stood to stand behind his Anthony.

Boris and Maya both backed up and raised their hands over their heads, and Boris pressed a small button on his watch inconspicuously.

But Tony had Extremis in his head and cut off the distress signal before it left the room.

Not that there was any help available, he had locked all the brutes in rooms with mechanical doors, after all.  

Tony went to say something, probably a threat, when a ping signified that the Avenger's quinjet was landing atop the facility. 

He pulled the video feed up behind his eyes and watched as Captain America, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Thor, Bruce, and War Machine stepped off.

"The other Avengers will be here in a moment, they just landed."

Tony informed Boris and Maya.

Loki already knew, as he could feel his brother's presence.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happiness! Reunited once again!

As the Avengers entered the building, walked down the halls, and checked the rooms the entire place was silent, save for the air conditioning and beeps from various machines.

Both Clint and Natasha thought briefly that maybe Tony wasn't here anymore, maybe they moved him to a new facility, that somehow they had known that the Avengers were coming. 

But they didn't dwell on it, the chances were slim, considering the fact that only the team knew where they were going, and they had only pinpointed the location less than an hour ago. 

They moved together as a unit. 

Thor was in front, followed by Cap and Natasha side by side, then Bruce with Rhodey. 

They moved quickly and silently threw the halls, getting deeper and deeper in the building until they came to a locked door.

8 feet high by 6 feet, entirely made out of metal, with no obvious way of opening it.

They had nowhere else to go, they had checked every room behind them.

Thor swung Mjolnir, loosely once, twice, three times before looking back at the Captian.

Steve nodded.

"Break it down."

Thor obeyed, swinging long and hard Mjolnir pounded against the metal. 

The result was a small dent, about the size of a football. 

Thor swung again and again until there was an opening large enough for them to get through.

Beyond the doorway the hall was dark, lit by emergency flashing lights.

A robotic voice said over and over again. 

_**'Containment breach. Evacuate immediately.'** _

The Avengers exchanged worried glances.

Steve signaled Thor to continue.

Clint and Natasha raised their guns, safety off, fingers on the trigger.

Thor stepped through the hole. 

When there was no danger, no response of any sort, the others followed him through. 

The rooms before the locked door had been set up as offices, everything plain and simple, everything normal.

Nothing to connect the place to **H.Y.D.R.A.**

A front.

Behind the door was a different story. 

The majority of the rooms were labs.

There were also prison-esque prison cells.

The found a couple rooms where the cement floors were stained red, and arrays of weapons lined the walls.

Definitely  **H.Y.D.R.A.**

The area was empty, just like the first. 

As they followed the hallway around a corner they heard faint muffled voices.

Steve motioned for them to stop.

It was unlikely that the voices belonged to anyone but  **H.Y.D.R.A.** members.

Steve signaled Thor to continue, slowly. 

The voices were loudest behind a door. 

It was made of the same metal as the giant locked one, but it was normal sized. 

Steve glanced at War Machine and nodded to the door.

Rhodey understood and scanned the room. 

14 men. 

None were Tony.

Next he examined the door. 

It was electronically bolted shut, with the both panels, inside and out without power. 

Rhodey shook his head. 

"They look like they're the hired muscle, they're locked inside. I suggest we continue on, Captain.

Rhodey had taken off his helmet so he could talk in a low enough tone that the men on the other side wouldn't be able to hear.

Steve nodded and Rhodey put the helmet back on before following the others.

With the high density of the walls, combined with the maze of a floor plan, Rhodey's sensors couldn't pick up life signs that were 25 feet away. 

After walking a good distance they turned and saw a fluorescent white light shining out into the hall from a room.

Steve motioned for Thor to move ahead cautiously, but Thor remained still for a moment.

Though Thor really didn't have any affinity to magic he had formed a strong enough bond with his brother to know that Loki was currently in that room, unharmed.

Smiling he went forward in long confident strides and entered the room.

In front of him were two mortals, wrists tied together and ankles tied to two chairs. 

There was also his brother, sitting in the corner.

Right next to Loki, attached to his side was Tony.

"Brothers!"

He boomed just as the rest of the Avengers entered in behind him. 

Tony and Loki smiled at him, and Loki pulled his boyfriend closer.

The entire team was overjoyed when they saw their teammates. 

"Stark"

Steve nodded, eyes searching for any injuries.

There were none, and Anthony's body had returned to its normal hue, only his eyes stayed that brilliant shade of blue.

Bruce had pushed passed the others and knelt down, also searching for injuries.

"I'm alright, Brucey."

He turned to the rest of the team.

Natasha gave him a nod and a small smile before she walked over to Maya and Boris.

Clint gave him a much brighter smile before joining her.

Rhodey moved a little closer.

Tony looked up at his best friend.

"You know, you promised this sort of thing wouldn't happen again, after Afghanistan."

Tony laughed.

"I swear it wasn't intentional, Honey Bear."

The atmosphere of the room lightened with Tony's laughter and his smile.

 

 

He was alive.

They had found him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been awhile. a long while.


End file.
